Bluestem Literary Magazine, May 2018
is now live, Complete and UNCUT!!!!
You can even hear audio by Outlaw Extraordinaire Bobby Horecka.
Mr. Man Candy
by BOBBY HORECKA
I always take him with a few grains of salt. Not too much. I mean, dude’s always been on the rotund side, and he’s got a heart condition, for Christ’s sake. But don’t take everything he tells you at face value. You just can’t. Don’t get me wrong: I love Bubba to death. Known him for almost ten years now. Together, we’ve caught rivers of fish, travelled the world, and even started our own construction business. He’s the type of dude you don’t mind loaning money, the sort of fellow you toss your housekeys and ask to feed your dog while you’re away, and he’s absolutely the type of dude you want at your back in a barfight. Still, when he called me one day and said he spent the afternoon on his front porch with a Playboy Bunny, I said the first thing that came to mind.
“Bullshit,” with the proper three syllables that such a statement truly deserves.
Of course, he starts swearing on his mama’s grave and Holy Jesus that he’s telling the truth. But come on! Dude lives in a one-stoplight town in the ass-crack of South Texas. Although the population sign says 3,435, I’m pretty sure three quarters of them are inmates at the prison, the town’s only employer. And my left butt cheek has more resemblance to Hugh Heffner’s mansion than his ratty old trailer. Even the word porch needs a few shakes of salt, to hell with his damn heart. Step is a more accurate description…
We’ll be publishing it here in full later this month. Check it out now at Bluestem literary magazine and more on your OutlawAuthorz.com Bobby Horecka.